Grief Advice
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There’s been a lot going on for me this last little bit. Mostly things the outside world wouldn’t actually see as being a lot, and my old self wouldn’t have flinched at. Doing a mountain bike class. Buying corn on the cob. Figuring out hot tub maintenance. Bigger adjustments too. Everything registers differently now. Managing to get…
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One year without my Tom. I survived the first anniversaries and all the regular ol days of the past year too. It is still surreal. Likely some of it I survived by just being in shock, so it actually scares me a bit to think about what is still to come. I listened to a…
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I remember the first time I read how the second year of widowhood tends to be harder to get through. I was a few months into widowhood at that point. First, I was like why the F would you be telling me that?! Second, I didn’t believe it. The world likes to tell us there’s…
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I wrote about some of my experiences dealing with admin tasks after Tom died. Here’s a part two where I’ll share a bit of my advice, from the <almost> other side. For everyone: Here are some tips of things I’d highly suggest everyone take care of just in case. I totally get that no one…
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Another widow described Valentine’s as a day full of “love bombing”. I appreciated that wording. A day that kinda slaps you across the face. All the reminders from the world that a huge love is now unrequited. Reminders of what I had. Now there’s an untethered love that moves with me always. Tom and I…
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When did he die? How long were you married? Did you have any children? I listened to a podcast that talked about the math of suffering. It resonated with me and offered a label to something I’ve struggled with – are people trying to quantify my grief? (The podcast also referenced Star Trek which made…
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Early on in this mess, I felt like I was a total mess. My emotions and my grief took over constantly. At the hospital I crawled into Tom’s bed sobbing. Such a vulnerable side of myself that before this I would have kept hidden. Tom was my safe place. I know I was his too.…
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Heart break, of course, goes hand-in-hand with loss. I joined an online yoga for grief support class, and one week focused on the heart. We were invited to consider the difference between a heart that breaks apart and a heart that breaks wide open. A heart that breaks open feels emotions intensely, offers room for…
A Smiling Young Widow 