loss
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I’m writing this from Costa Rica. Obviously it is a beautiful spot to be, and I’m about to start a week long yoga and healing retreat here which I’m sure will be amazing for me. But… It was really hard for me to actually come on this trip. I was dragging my feet on packing, so…
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That was the question asked as my bag rolled into the extra screening at airport security when traveling over Christmas. Hmm what powder do I have in my bag? Oh right… that’s my husband. It’s my husband’s ashes. I’d brought along a bag with some of Tom’s ashes to spread, not wanting to put them…
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There’s been a lot going on for me this last little bit. Mostly things the outside world wouldn’t actually see as being a lot, and my old self wouldn’t have flinched at. Doing a mountain bike class. Buying corn on the cob. Figuring out hot tub maintenance. Bigger adjustments too. Everything registers differently now. Managing to get…
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April 7th is green shirt day, a day to talk about organ donation. Well I unfortunately have much more experience with organ and tissue donation now. I remember quite clearly the conversation where the ICU doctor told me Tom’s brain was never going to recover. We had still been holding onto a sliver of hope…
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I went to the dentist. A good, normal life thing for me to do. My friendly hygienist was just back from mat leave. As we walked to the chair we were chatting about her baby and how returning to work was going. Then she asks me, “Anyways, how was your last year?” Uhhhhh… I hesitate.…
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Early on in this mess, I felt like I was a total mess. My emotions and my grief took over constantly. At the hospital I crawled into Tom’s bed sobbing. Such a vulnerable side of myself that before this I would have kept hidden. Tom was my safe place. I know I was his too.…
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I had a to-do list on the go for what I wanted to remember to do before leaving for the holidays in December. My list included: “ashes” and “poop scoop”. I was hit with how ridiculous my life is right now. Here I was balancing remembering to pack some of my husband’s ashes to spread…
A Smiling Young Widow 